I Miss you then....

• I will miss you in that first park under that tress where all of a sudden you gave me your first kiss.
• I will miss you in my bikes back seat, whenever you gave a kiss on my shoulders.
• I will miss you in that bus whenever i will travel to our hometown.
• I will miss you in that railway station where you came to pick me up and see off.
• I will miss you in these winter nights when you use to sleep inside your cozy blanket and i used to stand at terrace and talk.
• I will miss you in those dark isolated places where we use to go to find some privacy apart from rest of the world.
• I will miss you whenever i will adjust my bike's mirror and you wont be there to smile back seeing me through it.
• I will miss you whenever you will get Happy days and you will cry in pain and i could do nothing but still support you over phone by all possible ways i can.
• I will miss you the next time i teach someone mechanics and thermodynamics.
• I will miss you when i will pay the bills and you wont be there to say let me pay even though i know you dont have money.
• I will miss you everytime i will drive to puri where i lifted you to see the Lord and you touched my feet and i hugged you.(Frankly i never liked you touching my feet)
• I will miss you whenever i will stand by the sea water touching my feet, i will look for your feet around below the sand.
• I will miss you when i will see people dancing with the waves and there wont be that girl  desperately calling me inside water.
• I will miss you when it will rain and i will find a shed beneath a tree , may be your shadow will join me.
• I will miss you when no one will tell me to look good and buy the things that will only look good in me saving her own expenses.
• I will miss you when it will be your birthday and i wont be having your number to wish you.
• I will miss you when it will be my birthday and there wont be you to keep my phone busy just to wish me first.
• I will miss you when i will sing.
• I will miss you when there wont be anyone to fight with for stupid reasons and then flattering her.
• I will miss you in that house where we have kissed in every room and loved eachother.
• I will miss you in those empty theaters where we never saw the movie.
• I will miss you when i will take a selfie and no one will force me to smile.
• I will miss you when your number wont be there in my top dialing list.
• I will miss you when i will be waiting for your call year by year and you wont call.
• I will miss you when i will search for more reasons to miss you and they will become countless.

In Search of Her...

Stuck into the past memories,
Things i should have might,,
Sitting along with your soul,
I thought may be even i could write...

Looking into your eyes,
Got lost into its depth,
A hope into the future,
Revealing the secrets she had kept....

Along all these years she cared too,
Yet we both always afraid to say,
We avoided eachother completely,
Every time, every single day....

She opened and cried to me one night,
Stand with me, i dont know what to do,
I could only wrap arms around her body,
& Say, be comfortable, I am here with you....

She told me about her past,
He cheated and hurted her bad,
I kept quite and told her never to worry,
But inside i was getting crazy & mad.....

I held my anger 
and comforted her instead,
She tried to hold me tight,
I said,forget everything & lets look ahead...

I leaned over to kiss her,
She smiled and turned to me,
Thank you for being there,
I waana see your heart inside me.....

With that she drifted off,
I left her quietly sleeping.
How could anyone want to hurt her? 
I ran through thoughts, my heart leaping....

Things got busy through years,
I ran out of time,
Could not make her understand,
It doesn't mean you were not mine....

I always remember, she said
"I am only yours every year",
Unfortunate, that i was soo far,
I could not show her my tears.....

Now she lives in some new city,
A new life she could hear,
Whlie i stand over this edge,
With every moment i was ever near.....

She wishes me to let her go,
so that she could come back again,
Tell me how shall i miss you then,
When i wont be there to bear this pain.....

Walking along head smaking onto the pavement,
My breath getting thin,
My vision blurred and fading slowly...
This was a battle I could never win.......

Hope this darkness soon consumes me...
Light fills my eyes...
I am proud to have lost my life,
If it meant ending her cries......